Put a roasted Orange slasht smoking hot in it

If you want a bottomless fount of obscenity and hilarity, look no further than the Restoration slang lexicon. Restoration readers were obsessed with the lingo of thieves and gypsies, and this craze generated a series of seventeenth-century Urban Dictionaries. I have EEBO to thank for bringing me The New Dictionary of the Canting Crew, a 1699 lexicon plagiarized, appropriately enough, from a similar book published 20 years before. (From the earlier version, Joyce took the slang song in Ulysses: "White thy fambles, red thy gan,/And thy quarrons dainty is.")

It seems almost criminal not to transcribe the whole thing, but I must restrain myself. Some of my favorites, A through C (plus one necessary D):

Abram-men,
the seventeenth Order of the Canting-crew. Beggers antickly trick'd up with Ribbands, Red Tape, Foxtails, Rags, &c. pretending Madness to palliate their Thefts of Poultrey, Linnen, &c.

Academy,
a Bawdyhouse, also an University, or School to learn Genteleman like Exercises.

Alabaster,
mixt by all the knavish Perfumers with the Hair-Powder they sell, to make it weigh heavy, being of it self very cheap, that their Gain may be the greater, found destructive to the Hair and Health.

Arsworm,
a little diminutive Fellow.

Auxiliary-beauty,
Dress, Paint, Patches, setting of Eye-brows, and licking the Lipps with red.

Banter,
a pleasant way of prating, which seems in earnest, but is in jest, a sort of ridicule, What do you banter me? i. e. do you pretend to impose upon me, or to expose me to the Company, and I not know your meaning.

Bear-garden-discourse,
common, filthy, nasty Talk. If it had been a Bear it would have bit you, of him that makes a close search after what just lies under his Nose. As good take a Bear by the Tooth, of a bold desperate Undertaking. Go like the Bear to the Stake, or hang an Arse. As many tricks as a dancing Bear· or more than are good.

Beard splitter,
an enjoyer of Women.

Cabob,
a Loin of Mutton Roasted with an Onyon betwixt each joint; a Turkish and Persian Dish but now used in England.

Click,
to Snatch. I have Clickt the Nab from the Cull, c. I whipt the Hat from the Man's Head. Click the rum Topping, c. Snatch that Woman's fine Commode.

Conger,
a Set or Knot of Popping Book-sellers of London, who agree among themselves, that whoever of them Buys a good Copy, the rest are to take off such a particular number, as (it may be) Fifty, in Quires, on easy Terms. Also they that joyn together to Buy either a Considerable, or Dangerous Copy. And a great over-grown Sea-Eel.

Cracker,
an Arse; also Crust.

Crusty-beau,
one that lies with a Cover over his Face all Night, and uses Washes, Paint, &c.

Damask the Claret,
Put a roasted Orange slasht smoking hot in it.